Ok, so I probably should have shared this when I started the #13reasonswhyIcan, but you know how life gets so here I am on day 14...after the fact. Better late than never!
If you read the book 13 Reasons Why, written back in 2007 by Jay Asher, or watched the recent Netflix series adaptation, you will get the reference here. I had only heard of the story and didn't catch on until a few months back when I binge watched the series like a bad train wreck; I could not stop despite how painful and heartbreaking each episode became. While there is a lot of controversy happening over the story of the 13 recorded confessions (and ultimate decision to take her own life) shared by the protagonist, Hannah, her teenage experiences are not uncommon. In fact, it took me a couple weeks to really recover from the raw reality of this show.
What I walked away with though, is wondering what makes someone like Hanna in the story, feel like there is no other answer than to commit suicide? We have all been, or maybe currently are, teenagers, that most likely had a hard time seeing life beyond those school halls, beyond the friends and drama, and all that goes with it. It truly does seem impossible then to realize all the different roads available to us and the world that exists with it's expanding opportunities to see new places, meet new people and figure out who we really are deep down. I certainly didn't get it then, but why now when life is more challenging and painful at times than I could have ever imagined?
This is when I started to take photos, examples for myself, of why it is I do want to continue living, even with this bully (much like those that changed Hanna's life) of a body that seems to put up a fight every day. Looking for ideas became more than just being grateful for what I saw, it opened my eyes to the life that is happening around me, to what I wanted to continue to see for days/weeks/years ahead. A few examples...
Day 5 - The excitement my dogs show, hopping around like kangaroos when I say the word "park!"
Day 7 - How big the potatoes we planted 2 months ago have gotten and being able to cook them right out of the garden because it's a food I often can have.
Day 10 - If the character in my current book will survive and HOW MANY more books I can't wait to pick up.
I would love to hear more about your 13 Reasons Why you can keep fighting! Share in the comments below, on the Journey with Gastroparesis FB page or on Instagram under #13reasonswhyIcan.
Remeber, you are not alone and even when our worlds feel small and impossible, there is something out there for you to live for.