My lip quivered as I signed the agreements with the doctor yesterday, accepting the risks of surgery. Though it is laparoscopic, and fairly simple, we still have to be "warned" of complications. I've been through this before in my early twenties, twice actually, for ovarian cysts and endometriosis. Luckily, that resolved itself after the age of 25. Now, here I am again, with a date set for this Friday, January 11. Even though I knew this was coming, now that it is on the calendar, it's that much more real.
What I am looking forward to is everything going smoothly, a short recovery period, and most of all, gaining strength with the additional calories my body cannot otherwise take in. When this happened before my ability to eat more, both quantity and variety, grew over time. I'm determined this will happen once again and life can move forward. If I have to live with a feeding tube to supplement calories for longer then I choose, then that is just a part of life I have to accept. There are millions out there living with a form of illness or disability, who are forced to live a little different, however, they still live well.
In 2011, my kind and compassionate mother flew out to help me adjust, my angel during the tough times, and continues to be there for me daily, even if it is by phone. Tomorrow, my sweet father will be arriving (both still live in Kansas where I grew up) to help out around the house and be there with his good sense of humor and positive attitude for as long as we need him. I am truly blessed to have such supportive family and friends. It's not easy letting go and allowing others to take care of you, even more difficult when you are used to being the strong one. I'll be working on my handout for what I CAN Eat and making a list of what people can do to help over the next couple weeks. I highly recommend this when going through a rough time. People do want to help but most of the time don't know how. Have the ones who understand food limitations make you a soup or snack, send someone to the store to do grocery shopping, another to help with some cleaning around the house, someone to walk the dog, and of course those who can bring you a funny movie or trashy magazine (haha) and help you smile and have some good laughs. Of course, sometimes, we just need to be alone to rest and be in stillness, also an important part of healing.
Okay, I'll stop rambling. The thing is, I'm scared, nervous, anxious, you name it. Writing helps me to put things into perspective and find ways to remain positive, not only for myself, but for all of you who need it as well!
Thanks for being a part of my journey and I will keep updates coming as I can.
In the meantime, Natural Vitality's giveaway is still happening and will be sent out via newsletter soon. No matter what is going on in life, I always enjoy a good giveaway :)