Sunday, October 27, 2013

AZ Week One

Well, I've officially been in AZ over a week now.  I had a bit of a breakdown today (actually everyday but not because of the treatment today).  Sara, the incredible friend I have been blessed to witness overcome GP and travel with, packed her bags and is heading back home.  There are a number of mixed feelings swishing around as I've spent time with her over the past 8 days.  TOTAL awe at her recovery and ability to eat so much now without painful reprocussions.  Then comes jealousy, anger, and sadness that I am still struggling.  These are very honest and expected feelings that I should not be ashamed of.  I mean, who hasn't felt this way when what you want something sooooo much and see it become real for others but not you?  Of course, there is so much love for her and her ability to understand and support me through my own journey it brings tears of joy to my eyes.


I've had my share of sunshine and stunning scenery as well as long afternoon naps because I can't even stand up straight from the pain.  Some say this is part of the healing process as things begin to shift.  The skeptic in me says this is crazy and what if I came all the way here only to return the same?  This scares the crap out of me (to be completely real and honest) and took over the positive and hopeful part of my brain today.  Luckily, Sara was here to bring things into perspective and remind me that no matter what, I must push through the pain, never give up and continue to do my best every day because she believes in me.  When she was at rock bottom a support system of caring people didn't let her forget this either.  This is the true meaning in paying it forward.

So far the myofacial release has been emotionally powerful, allowing me to feel things that have been pushed away for years, traumatic experiences that need to be let go and deep fears that can now be understood.  I realize this all sounds a bit dark, and trust me it can be, but this is part of the journey for me and it only feels right to share it right along with the bright and positive side of healing.  It isn't exactly fun work but I'm looking forward to more of it this week and seeing where it takes me.
In addition to the MFR, I was referred to see an herbalist in town here who spent years as a nurse and eventually studying natural medicine.  It feels a bit like fate meeting with her.  She knew everything about GP, including medications, symptoms, complications, and so on.  Within 5 minutes her "gut" feeling and previous experience with others, told her it most likely has something to do with a low thyroid.  Interesting because I just had a panel of tests done, not just TSH like most docs run but T3 and T4 (reverse T3 and antibodies are also suggested).  All showed signs on the low side and T3 below normal.  She had some suggestions which I'm looking into and will be sharing more as I learn and experiment.  It's difficult to get into a good endocrinologist where I live but working on that as a back up.

T is on his own journey road tripping with the dogs and will be arriving here this evening to spend the week supporting and exploring.  Can't wait to see him and my babies!

Here are some pics from the trip so far.


Red Rock Crossing


Peace rock stack

Me at a sink hole called Devil's Kitchen
Spiky desert plants
Desert plants












Tired pups after day in Grand Canyon with T!



3 comments:

  1. Thank you for your honesty. Thinking of you still...

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  2. Nice info..the great post.
    Thanks for sharing
    Travesti

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  3. Amazing photos...Thanks for sharing. Love those dogs!!! Enjoy your trip. Thanks for all the info you have provided for everyone so far.. We all learn so much from each others journey...Thanks for posting...

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